From one thing to another
by Miaowing Kat
Summary: A crazy-humor fic, what's it about? *shrugs shoulders*


Just to inform you, Fairy King Shrimp is a fictional race horse (though his name is based on a real race horse).  
  
I have gotten bored of flames and insults, plus I dun think that they are very nice... If you think that my story sucked, please consider that I never forced you to read it. I know we all have different opinions and stuff, but I don't take criticism well.  
  
FF9 and all it's characters don't belong to me. (Really. I'm not kidding) Fairy King Shrimp is a name that I made up, it'd be cool to own a race horse.  
  
  
  
From one thing to another.  
  
  
  
There was once a little boy, who wasn't actually little, and yeah, before you ask, his name was Zidane.  
  
Anyways, Zidane decided to eat the largest animal that he could find, just to prove to his girlfriend, and yeah, before you ask, her name is Dagger, that he could eat really large animals.  
  
But there was a problem.  
  
Two years ago, a knight, yes, called Steiner, went on a rampage and killed all the large animals on Gaia, so the largest things that were left were little flies. Zidane had once accidentally swallowed a fly, and no he's not gonna die, but this hadn't really impressed Dagger.  
  
It just so happened that Zidane's quest failed miserably, (Scene where Zidane lowers his head and does that thing with his hands) so he gave up on that and decided to become the world's greatest Big 2 player.  
  
Unfortunately, Dagger had never heard of Big 2, so he had to explain it. (Scene where Zidane kicks the ground)  
  
He explained that Big 2 was a card game, where the 2s have the highest value, but that's all she heard, because Dagger had a very short attention span, and got bored thereafter.  
  
Then, the Rat thing called Freya walked in, and no, Fratley was not with her, he was still somewhere, leaving Freya all heartbroken and depressed. Freya, because she was all heartbroken and depressed told Zidane that he sucked at Big 2.  
  
This got Zidane mad, so he went into trance and did Grand Lethal a lot. Since Freya didn't have more than 9999HP, she died instantly, but he did Grand Lethal 100 more times just for the hell of it, and to impress Dagger.  
  
Dagger however, yawned at the sight of the weird pinky glowing little boy that was not so little.  
  
With her ultra-ultra-ultra x1000 super sensitive hearing, Eiko heard Dagger's yawn, and she ran with her ultra-ultra-ultra x1000 super fast legs to where ever Zidane and Dagger and the corpse of Freya were.  
  
Eiko announced that Zidane's idea of playing Big 2 was a waste of time if he didn't learn to speak like the author's brothers and friends when they play Big 2.  
  
~ Camera zooms in ~  
  
"Now, you gotta go 'wahhhhhhhh' after every card that is played, even if it's totally crap and you can beat it easily"  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I don't know!!! That's just the way it's played!"  
  
~ Camera zooms in even more, so all we see is large blob of purple on screen ~  
  
"You gotta be really loud and aggressive when you play, and slam the cards down. When you pass, you gotta shout really loud 'WAHHHHH, PAAAASSSIIII!'"  
  
Unfortunately, Zidane was knocked out by Eiko's ultra-ultra-ultra x1000 sonic boom of a shout, so Eiko ran away to go and annoy a certain person, and yes, that certain person was Amrarant.  
  
~ Camera zooms out again to an appropriate view ~  
  
Dagger yawned again because she had nothing better to do, and decided that her life was too boring for her, so she went to face death.  
  
"Amarant???"  
  
Amarant sighed, unfolded his arms and walked away at that really slow annoying pace that he walks at.  
  
"AMARANT???"  
  
".Go away."  
  
"Zidane got knocked out, so I gotta annoy you!"  
  
"Dammit. Why can't the little ass stay conscious?"  
  
"You calling Zidane an ass? 'Cause if you do, I gotta beat your ass!"  
  
".Yeah, sure. Just as long as you do it without me."  
  
It was at this point that Dagger came up to the odd looking pair on a race horse called Fairy King Shrimp.  
  
"You like my new race horse?"  
  
Eiko jumped up and down in protest.  
  
"YOUR race horse? You stole him! He doesn't belong to you! I'm gonna tell!"  
  
Dagger jumped off like Frankie Dettori and instead of casting silence, she wrapped some sticky tape over Eiko's mouth.  
  
Dagger spent the next year showing off Fairy King Shrimp to all her friends, when none of them suspected that he had been stolen. Only Amarant knew of Dagger's horrifying, terrible, life threatening secret (Zidane wouldn't let her keep a horse, and if he found out, he'd kill her).  
  
It was when she was showing off the horse to . let's say Quina, that Amarant remembered Dagger's secret ('cause he has a really sucky memory) and told Zidane about it. (Scene where Zidane goes ballistic and starts foaming at the mouth) This time Zidane didn't go into trance, but he was still pretty mad, so he ran across all of Gaia to try and find her.  
  
In the end, Dagger was quite glad about Zidane's arrival as Quina was just about to eat Fairy King Shrimp when he intervened.  
  
As fate would have it, Eiko just happened to burp at that time (after getting the sticky tape off her mouth) and Zidane was knocked out again.  
  
Dagger grinned evilly and thought that she would get away with stealing the race horse, when the imaginary owner, trainer and stable jockey came over, and beat Dagger to an orange gooey pulp. (Scene where Zidane howls then becomes a werewolf.)  
  
Quina, getting over shock decided to eat the imaginary owner, trainer and stable jockey. He did it rather easily, though when he had finished, he yelped that they tasted really bad (as all imaginary owners, trainers and stable jockeys do) , which put him off a little when it came to eating Fairy King Shrimp. However, he had been taught to try all new foods, but hell, he wasn't going to touch that horse as long as he lived.  
  
So Fairy King Shrimp was left alone to wander some plains, where he eventually found Mene. Mene, thinking he was dangerous, and who had no regard for the horse's class or ability, kicked him out and left him as prey to some grand dragons.  
  
Fairy King Shrimp made it all the way to Madain Sari where he terrorized the moogles by day, and fought crime by night with a lovely pink cape.  
  
FIN  
  
Hmmmm, the end to a weird story? YUP! For those of you who don't know how to play Big 2, I apologise, but I don't know how to play any other card games. (well, except for solitaire and poker) 


End file.
